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Unlike in video games, you don’t get unlimited chances to win him back. You only get a few chances. And if you’re not prepared, you’ll screw it up.
So how come you don’t screw up this time?
If you want to get your ex-girlfriend back, you need to take it as a mission. Almost like a video game. If asking him to get back together is the final battle in this game, you need to level up and win a lot of mini fights before you can do that.
I’ll explain how to do this in a moment. But first, let me introduce myself and tell you why I am writing this.
My name is Kevin Thompson, and I have been helping people with breakups for over a decade. I’ve helped thousands of people just like you get their ex-girlfriends back. (Read more about me and about this website here.)
This article is everything I wish I had access to when I wanted to get my ex-girlfriend back after a bad breakup.
When he broke my heart, broke it to pieces and all I could think about was how to win it back.
When I could neither eat nor sleep for several days.
When I woke up in the middle of the night crying and feeling lonely, there was no one around to give me good advice. Always wonder if I have a chance to bring him back. If I find a way, he should call me back again. If there was a way to make him love me again. love problem solution in Odisha | Best astrologer in India
If only I knew back then what do I know now. I hope no other guy feels so hopeless and helpless when they are going through a bad breakup. That is why I have made this article free for all to read.
But before you read any further, I want you to know that this guide is focused on winning him back and keeping him in a healthy, long-lasting relationship.
A relationship that both of you can enjoy, thrive in and grow as lovers together; for a very long time.
This guide is no trick or strip solution to your broken relationship. It is not made to get your ex-girlfriend back instantly. It is designed to bring him back permanently.
What is this article?
This article is your ultimate guide on how to get your ex-girlfriend back. I have prepared this article in stages. Just like in any video game.
Why?
If you and the girl you love just broke up, you are probably going through a lot of pain, heartache, sadness, passion, and confusion.
In fact, if you’re reading this article, there’s a good chance you’re pretty confused and don’t know where to go from here. There is a strong possibility that you are confused about what to do and what not to do.
This guide has been designed to take the confusion out of the equation. Think of it as a manual, a walkthrough, a game plan, or a strategy guide for the current mission in this game called Your Love Life. love problem solution in Odisha | Best astrologer in India
astrology call centre number | Talk to Astrologer Online
This article will tell you what to do from this point forward to get your ex-girlfriend back fast and keep her. This guide will give you the blueprint for getting him back into a healthy and long-lasting relationship as quickly as possible.
Who is this guide for?
This guide is for you if you want your ex-girlfriend, your ex-wife back, or your ex-fiancé back.
Following this guide will make your ex-girlfriend want you back if you are a teen in high school, you are in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, or even if you are older than her.
This guide will help you get back to your ex-girlfriend after she left you. And it will help you get him back if you leave him and still want him back.
This guide is not for you if you are looking for tricks or manipulations to get him back fast.
This guide is for you if you are afraid of losing him and want you to get back into a healthy relationship as soon as possible. love problem solution in Odisha | Best astrologer in India
This article is long, and you’ll probably need to revisit it from time to time over the next few months. That’s why it’s best to bookmark it so that you can easily find it again.
table of content
Step 1: Take control of yourself, stop panicking, and don’t do anything that can push him away
Step 2: Fix what was broken in you and what was broken in the relationship
Step 3: Contact your ex in a way that makes him want to talk to you again and meet his need for company
Step 4: Reconnect with your ex on an emotional level
Step 5: Ask Him to Get Back Together When the Time Is Right
Step 1: Take Control of Yourself, Stop Panicking and Don’t Do Anything that May Push Her Away
OBJECTIVES:
- Stop Panicking and Pushing Her Away
- Take Action to Regain Composure
- Start No Contact
- Grieve
- Accept The Breakup (Optional Until Later)
- Heal By Spending Time With Loved Ones (Optional)
When you lose the girl you love you panic. You activate the fight or flight response in your brain. And when your mind is panicking, it doesn’t think logically.
Instead, it depends on your instincts. It goes into overdrive trying to figure everything out and in a panic situation, it makes you do things that eventually drive your ex-girlfriend away.
Stop Bullying and Pushing Your Ex Girlfriend
The goal of this phase is to stop panicking and pushing your ex away. To do this, you have to understand what you are going through and what you are doing that is driving your ex away.
understand the sadness you’re going through right now
Breakup grief is a bitch. This is the best way I can put it. Once you have lost the girl you love, you are likely to go through five stages of grief.
Steps ie.
Refuse
Anger
bargaining
Depression
Accept
The stages of grief are pretty self-explanatory so I won’t go into details about them. But when you’re trying to win him back fast, you need to focus on the first three stages of grief.
Refuse
Anger
and bargain
As we’ll see in the next section, these three stages of grief can force you to do things that will push your ex away and make him think breaking up with you was the best decision ever.
understand what pushes him away
To make it easier for you to remember, here is a list of mistakes that drive your ex away after a breakup.
Mistake 1: Begging and Trying to Use Mercy
Grief Phase: Bargaining
Example:
I’m not sure if it’s the media, the movies, or the damn TV shows. But the boys get the idea that if they can show their ex-GF how helpless they are without her, she’ll be back.
They try to beg and plead to get their ex-girlfriend back soon. In some cases, people go to extreme lengths to show their ex how unhappy they are without him.
The truth is that no girl is attracted to a weak guy. If you act like you are unhappy without her, she will be less and less attracted to you until she decides to cut you out of her life.
Begging, begging, and being sad makes your ex-girlfriend never want you back. In fact, it’s more likely to push him away.
Mistake 2: Calling and texting her all the time
Grief Stage: Denial love problem solution in Odisha | Best astrologer in India
Example:
“If I keep in touch with him, everything will be back to normal. If I don’t let her forget me, she will realize how much she loves me and wants to be with me. I just need to keep in touch with him.”
This one is clear. The more you text or call your ex, the more you will push him away. Even if you act all casual when you text him, you will still come across as needy because your ex will see right through it.
Messaging her over and over is a sign of need and frustration and it is obvious to her that no matter how cleverly you try to hide it.
Notice how texting and calling her all the time is coming out of need and frustration, rather than a genuine desire to talk to and enjoy the conversation with her.
Mistake 3: Tell him how much you love him and you would do anything for him
Grief Phase: Bargaining
Example:
Now that he has broken up with you, he doesn’t care how much you love him and what you are willing to do for him.
(Note: This may have worked before the breakup in some cases. But it is not exactly the same after the breakup)
If you tell him how much you love him now, it’s going to make you look needy and desperate to win him back. This will turn him off and lower your respect.
The same happens when you tell him that you will do anything to get him back. Commonly known as becoming a doormat.
You can’t let him run over you just because you want him back. Even if you manage to persuade her to come back like this, she will soon leave again because she will have no respect for you.
The reason this doesn’t work is that you’re doing all this out of desperation to get him back. Not because you love him, but because you’re afraid of losing him to another guy. Because you are afraid to be alone.
She doesn’t want you to do anything for her out of fear. Not unless he’s extremely manipulative. In such a situation, you still should not do this because then you are allowing him to dominate you through fear. And she will keep doing it over and over again. And that’s not the type of relationship I want you to be with.
All the mistakes we’ve made so far are a direct result of insecurities and anxiety. The behaviors discussed above display insecurities, lack of confidence, and a nervous mind. To give you a scientific context, a study by Dr. Katherine Cornell, MS, Ph.D., and Paula Pietromonaco Ph.D. shows that a secure woman will choose a safe man over an insecure man. love problem solution in Odisha | Best astrologer in India
And if you think about it, insecurities after a breakup are a hundred times more unattractive. If your ex has rejected you once, displaying insecure behavior will only make him feel more unattractive to you.
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Mistake 4: Worried about his rebound
Grief Stages: Anger, Denial, Bargaining
Example:
“How could she do this to me? She told me she loved me only a few weeks ago and now she’s sleeping with someone else. I’m going to give her a call and tell her I’m going to talk about it.” What do I think and @$$#@ what is she and her new boyfriend?
or
“She’s making a huge mistake with that guy. Her new boyfriend isn’t the right person for her. I am. I need to talk to her fast and convince her to leave the other guy for me.” If I don’t, it may be too late.”
In many cases, your ex may start dating soon after the breakup. In some cases, she may start dating after a week or a month.
But in almost all cases, there will be a comeback in her new relationship. And it will end. This is what happens with most rebound relationships. Read more here about the nature of rebound relationships and how to get her back when she has a boyfriend.
Mistake 5: Putting Him Down and Calling Your Ex-Girlfriend
Grief Stage: Anger
Example:
or
I think it’s pretty clear why doing something like this would push him further away. No one wants to be with a boy who abuses.
humiliating your ex-girlfriend
A distinguished professor of psychology at the University of California, Philip R. A study by Shaver and colleagues showed that people who are more eager to get their ex back are more likely to be angry and act out of anger. , This means that the more you want your ex back, the more prone you will be to make the mistakes above.
So, if you have a strong desire to get your ex back, you need to be extra careful and mindful of your feelings and your actions. If you ever feel like saying mean things to your ex or doing something angry, step back, take a deep breath, and remind yourself that everything you do out of anger or nervousness only hurts your ex. remover. love problem solution in Odisha | Best astrologer in India
What if I’ve already made these mistakes?
These mistakes are very common. As I mentioned earlier, these mistakes are a direct result of going through your grief and acting on your instincts.
So, if you made them, don’t beat yourself up over it. It just means that you are human.
And since these mistakes are only human, it’s much easier to ask your ex to forgive you for them. We will talk about it in the third step of this article.
Actionable Steps (Moderately Important)
Change the name of your ex-girlfriend on your phone to “don’t push her away” so that you don’t forget these mistakes in the future.
Take action to stop panicking and get yourself together
Now that we know what mistakes to avoid after a breakup, it’s time to learn what you can do to stop panicking, regain your competitiveness, and stop acting like that. are the ones that push your ex further away.
start no contact
In my experience, the easiest way to avoid making any of the above mistakes and recover from a breakup is to start contact without it.
There is no contact?
No contact is a simple rule of thumb not to contact your ex at all for a few days. You want to remove your ex from your life and from your mind. it means that
- no texting
- no calling
- no collision with her at her favorite coffee shop
- Don’t keep track of him through your friends
- Staying away from your social media profiles
- I know that suddenly cutting off all contact with your ex may sound a bit extreme, but it is a very important and very effective way to achieve the purpose of this stage. Here’s how it will affect you and your ex.
How does no contact affect you?
When you cut your ex from your life, you will start to see things clearly and feel better about yourself. You will realize that you can live without your ex and that life is not that bad.
In most cases, you are so used to having your ex-girlfriend in your life, you cannot imagine life without her. When you stop contacting him, you will go cold on this addiction.
Like any other addiction, you will gradually recover from it and start seeing things clearly.
It is very important that you break free from your ex-girlfriend’s addiction before you get to the third step of this guide.
Before you approach him and get him back, you need to get rid of this addiction. As long as you are used to it, you will be needy and desperate. And if you are needy or desperate, you will never be able to reach him from a position of strength.
Even if you try to fake it, she’ll smell your need from a mile away. She was close to you and she knows a lot about you. You won’t be able to fake it for long.
How Does No Contact Affect Your Ex-Girlfriend?
If you’ve made a mistake that pushed him away, no contact is the right way to reset everything before you start rebuilding attraction with him.
Even if you didn’t make any of the above mistakes, no contact is very important because you want to give your ex some time to process the breakup and miss you.
When you stop contacting your ex, you will immediately become less needy and desperate in his eyes.
Later, you’re going to turn that doubt into a fact by showing him how you’ve changed, and how things will be different when you get him back.
Should I tell him I’m not having any contact?
If you and your ex are talking now, you can tell him that you need some space and time and that you don’t want him to contact you.
Hopefully, she will understand (and be impressed and confused) and leave you alone. If she doesn’t respect your wishes, all you have to do is ignore her calls and messages.
Wouldn’t that make her want to move on?
Maybe. But just because she wants to move on doesn’t mean she will. In fact, in most cases, it may force him to reconsider the breakup and possibly want you back.
Remember how you were pushing him away when you kept approaching him and telling him how you love him and will let the world be with him? love problem solution in Odisha | Best astrologer in India
By not making any contact, you are making room for your ex-girlfriend to miss you. When you don’t approach him, it will give him time to think clearly about the past; both good and bad. And if the two of you had a meaningful relationship, there’s a good chance she’ll miss you and probably want to reach out to you.
In some cases, an ex-girlfriend will feel an emptiness when you stop contacting her. He is so used to talking to you that when you stop contacting him he will feel that something important is missing from his life.
And because of that, she may decide to call you, text you, or do something on social media to get your attention. In other words, when you pull back, she may want to push. (Recommended Reading: The No Contact Rule and Everything That Can Happen Without Contact)
Plus, you’re not doing it forever, you’ll only be doing it for a while as we’ll discuss in a moment.
What if she finds another boyfriend without contact?
Even if she dates someone else without any contact, it will probably be a rebound and you can still win her back. (Read about the rebound and how to win it back with a rebound.)
My girlfriend left me for another guy. Should I still not make any contact?
Yes, even if he left you for another guy, you shouldn’t have any contact. In fact, it’s even more important for you to be okay than a normal breakup. love problem solution in Odisha | Best astrologer in India
How long should you not have any contact?
Ideally, you shouldn’t have any contact until you’ve finished step 1 and step 2 of this mission to get your ex-girlfriend back permanently.
That means you shouldn’t make any contact, at least until you’ve stopped fearing, regaining yourself, and figuring out how to beat the little devils (Step 2 ). This can take from two weeks to three months. Read this article on the no contact rule and find out how ideal no contact is for you.
I want to get my ex-girlfriend back fast. Is this the fastest way to get him back?
If you want your ex-girlfriend to come back fast, you first need to ask yourself why. Is it because you are afraid of losing him? Is it because you think she’ll find someone else if you don’t act fast? love problem solution in Odisha | Best astrologer in India
In most cases, guys want their ex-girlfriends back quickly because they are needy and desperate. Because they think that if they lose their girlfriend forever their world will end. The truth is that if you don’t get rid of this compulsion and frustration, your ex will leave you again.
Making no contact (or a variation of it) and following this plan is the fastest way to get him back into a healthy relationship. So, if you want to win him back fast, you should still make no contact and finish step 2 before trying to contact him.
I was the one who dumped him. Should I still not make any contact?
If you want your ex-girlfriend to get back after breaking up with her, then you should just go and ask her to get back together. If she refuses to get back together, then you should absolutely follow this article. And that means you still shouldn’t have any contact. love problem solution in Odisha | Best astrologer in India
Steps to be taken (Important)
Decide how long you don’t want to be contacted
Mark your calendar with the text “I can contact my ex-girlfriend now” several days from now.
If you and your ex are talking to each other regularly. Text him the following or something similar. “Hey, I don’t want to come across as rude or anything, but I need some time and space to recover from the breakup and focus on myself. So I guess I think we both need to have a- Don’t talk to others for a while. I hope you understand.”
mourn without contact
You lost someone you really love and want to be with. it’s gonna hurt. This is very hurtful.
When you first start out without contact, you are going to be very grieving. You are about to feel all the emotions that people going through grief feel. You will feel denial, anger, depression, confusion, and obsession. love problem solution in Odisha | Best astrologer in India
Breakup Grief is a roller coaster ride. Sometimes you’ll feel like crap and sometimes you’ll feel a lot better about yourself.
The key is to let yourself feel the feelings and still keep working on yourself. If you want to cry, take it out. If you get angry, shout out loud.
But remember to always keep it balanced and always keep in mind that you need to be a better version of yourself if you want him back.
Sometimes, you must pick yourself up and realize that there is more to life than relationships and breakups.
You should remind yourself that life will keep throwing challenges at you. You must learn to lift yourself up and get back in the game.
You need to keep moving forward. Here’s a video I recommend you watch when you’re feeling down.
Accept the breakup (optional later)
Ultimately, you need to reach the “acceptance” stage of the breakup. This means that you need to accept that your ex-girlfriend broke up with you and that your previous relationship is over.
You can start a new relationship with him and that relationship can be a wonderful one. But the previous relationship is over, and you can’t do anything about it.
For a lot of people reading this, the idea of a breakup will be hard to accept. You can even trick yourself into thinking that you have accepted the breakup when you are secretly still hoping that things will return to the way they were.
So, consider it as an alternate objective for now. This means you can go to Stage 2 without completing this objective. But you have to serve this purpose before you can contact your ex again. love problem solution in Odisha | Best astrologer in India
Spend time with your loved ones (optional)
One of the reasons why we feel so nervous after a breakup is our deep fear of being alone. To leave the world. To never be in love
But chances are, there are many people in your life who love you, care about you, and want you to be happy.
Your friends and family can be a very effective healing tool. When you spend time with them and notice how much they care and love you, your subconscious mind will calm down knowing that you are not alone in this world. That you are loved, and that you will live, even if you have lost your ex.
This part is optional as many people do not have loving families. Some people don’t even have very close friends. If this is the case with you too, don’t worry. You can still get your ex-girlfriend back. love problem solution in Odisha | Best astrologer in India
But you must keep a note in your mind to make new friends. Whenever you’re future-ready, you should try to find friends you can trust and trust to be there for you.
Philip R. The study by Shaver, Ph.D. also showed that people who are usually procrastinators tend to isolate themselves after a breakup and try to suppress their feelings with alcohol or substance abuse. We do. This is the least effective way to get over a breakup, improve as a person, or get your ex back.
If you feel like isolating yourself just because it’s in your nature, you should try to break this habit and spend time with people you care about and who care about you. care.
Damage Alert: Do you feel like you don’t need any contact?
Damage Alert: Are you planning to go to a bar or a pub?
before proceeding
If you have read it, for now, I suggest you take this quiz to find out your chances of getting your ex-girlfriend back. It will also give you a subscription to the EBP Basics Email Course which will send you a helpful email every day for the next 30 days.
If you want to continue reading, keep scrolling down or click here to return to the Table of Contents.
Step 2: Fix what was broken in you and what was broken in the relationship
Stage – Inner Demon
Stage – The Inner Demons
- Objective:
- Know what is the reason for the breakup?
- Solve the reasons for the breakup
- Find out if it’s worth getting back.
- be a better version of yourself
- a) become more confident
- b) learn relationship skills and tools to maintain a healthy relationship
- c) become more physically attractive (optional)
- d) become more socially attractive (optional)
- e) become more aware or increase your awareness level (optional)
As you can see from the objectives above, this stage of getting your ex-girlfriend back is all about you.
In my opinion, this is the most important phase of this mission. This isn’t one of those stages where you can just enter a tunnel at the beginning and leave it on the next stage (I’m looking at you, Mario).
If you fail at this stage, you may fail to get your ex-girlfriend back permanently. Even if you somehow manage to get her back for a while, I’m pretty positive you’ll break up again in the future.
Yes, how important is this step. Let’s start by finding out the root cause of the breakup.
Objective: Find out what caused the breakup
When you have calmed down and no contact has started, you should start thinking about what caused the breakup.
I don’t want you to think about what your ex-girlfriend said to you at the time of your breakup. Maybe he used one of those bogus generic lines like
“it’s not you it’s me”.
“I think of us more like friends”
“I don’t see a future with you right now.”
What he told you may not be the real reason for the breakup. He may have told you how he felt, but in most cases, he may not realize why he felt that way.
For example, she may have told you that she doesn’t love you anymore, but why do you think she has stopped loving you?
I’m going to try to list here some of the most common causes that you can relate to.
Reason 1: She doesn’t feel attracted to you anymore
This will be the case for most of the people reading this article. Here are some examples of when a girl loses attraction to you.
You always showered her with affection.
You gave her what she wanted.
You were needy, insecure, controlling, jealous, or manipulative
In most cases, if your ex wasn’t attracted to you at the end of your relationship, it’s because you weren’t needy, insecure, and self-confident.
If you think he broke up with you out of nowhere, there’s a good chance it’s because of this reason.
In fact, all three of the reasons mentioned above are a direct result of insecurity. And if you want to get a girl back after a breakup, then you must get rid of this insecurity that pushed her away in the first place. love problem solution in Odisha | Best astrologer in India
showing a lot of affection
In most cases, when you show a lot of affection to your girlfriend, it is not coming from the love you have for her. It is coming from your fear of losing him and being alone.
Don’t get me wrong, you should show affection to your girlfriend. If you love him, it’s only natural that you show him. For me, there is nothing more joyful than making my girlfriend happy and laughing with joy.
But most of the boys (who are abandoned) are not sincere in showing affection. If you’re showing affection simply because you want something in return (sex, praise, acceptance, end an argument without resolving it), it’s going to come across as fraudulent.
And slowly, he’ll realize you’re not doing it because you mean it. But because you subconsciously want something in return. And if he starts to feel that way, every time you show him your affection, it’s going to make him a little less attracted to you. Every time you say something sweet to him, he will feel that you want something in return.
Sometimes your girlfriend doesn’t even know that this is happening. She will gradually realize that she doesn’t feel the same way about you and break up with you.
you gave her what she wanted
Again, giving your ex-girlfriend what she wants isn’t really a deal-breaker. Your intention behind giving her what she wants is what matters.
For example, let’s say you have an argument about how you’re always trying to control him. And instead of trying to understand her, you go out and buy her a necklace she’s wanted for a while.
She is excited and forgets about the argument.
Win-win, isn’t it?
Wrong. You avoided a serious issue in the relationship. You avoided a serious issue in yourself. And he got stuck inside her.
If you want to give a gift to your girlfriend, then give it with love. Don’t do it because you expect something in return.
People who are insecure, controlling, and covertly manipulative usually try to control the situation by giving something to their girlfriend and expecting something in return. love problem solution in Odisha | Best astrologer in India
This creates an unhealthy pattern in the relationship and their girlfriends lose attraction to them.
Insecurity, jealousy, control, and manipulation
As I said in the above two scenarios. Insecurities, jealousy, control, and manipulation are present in almost every unhealthy relationship. If your ex-girlfriend didn’t feel attracted to you until the end of your relationship, there’s a good chance that you’ve displayed these traits in the relationship.
As you are going through this phase, I want you to think back and find out that there was something you did to your ex-girlfriend that had a hidden motive behind it.
Did you buy her presents because you were afraid she would leave you?
Did you save her from a serious problem by showering her with affection?
Did you act controlling because you were afraid she would fall for another guy?
Did you call his name while arguing because you wanted him to be ashamed of something?
If you’re only reading this article a few days after your breakup, it might be a bit much for you to think about it all right now. If you find it hard to ponder over it, you can bookmark this article and come back to it later when you can calm down and think rationally.
How to get your ex-girlfriend back after a breakup if she is no longer attracted to you?
You can make your ex-girlfriend attracted to you again easily, once you learn how to heal the deep insecurities that pushed her away.
Once she realizes that you are no longer insecure and that you have become a more confident and authentic person, she will want herself back more than ever.
That’s because you’ll be someone who is familiar, yet different, in a good way. You will be the person she loved, except for all the qualities that drove her away.
Again, the only way to achieve this is to fix that deep-rooted insecurity that caused you to do things that were needy, manipulative and controlling.
Once you’ve fixed it, you’ll need to show him these changes slowly and steadily, as we’ll talk about in the next two steps of this article. If all goes well, your ex will want you back and will respect you more than ever. love problem solution in Odisha | Best astrologer in India
Reason 2: She doesn’t see a future with you or has lost an emotional connection
Your ex may still find you attractive, but he may have broken up with you because he doesn’t see a future with you. Very often, a woman breaks up with her boyfriend or husband because if she can’t see it working for a long time.
Women (and guys in general) need security in a relationship. He needs to know that you will be there for him whenever he needs you. She needs to know that she can count on you to help her when tough times come. He needs to know that you care about him, about the relationship, and about your future. love problem solution in Odisha | Best astrologer in India
If she doesn’t see a future with you, she broke up with you, it could be because of one of the following.
a) You become complacent and neglect the relationship: You may have neglected him and the relationship for too long. Maybe you didn’t take her out on a date, didn’t show her how much you love and appreciate her. Or maybe you ignored his needs and made no effort to keep the spark alive. You never nurtured or cared for the relationship until it was too late.
b) She wants a future you’re not sure about (or you can’t provide): Your ex wants something in his future that he doesn’t see you giving to him. For example, she wants to eventually get married and buy a house with her boyfriend. He may have talked to you about it several times. Maybe she gave you hints or maybe she told you straight away that she hopes to propose to you. Your lack of interest or passivity may have led him to think that you are not interested in the things he likes. As a result, he decided to break up with you. love problem solution in Odisha | Best astrologer in India
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However, telling him that things will change will not work.
The truth is that you are probably saying all these things because you are afraid of losing him. And if you’re saying it out of desperation she’ll understand it.
So how can you show him your relationship potential with you?
Instead of telling him that you will change, you need to show him that you have fixed the root cause of the problems.
For example, if you neglected him, you first need to understand why you neglected him and correct him. If you were arguing all the time, you first need to learn how to communicate better.
If you cheated on him, you need to understand why you cheated and work on it.
Therefore, work on understanding yourself and fixing the main issues that lead to the behaviors that drive your ex away.
If you have some serious problems, getting therapy or joining a support group (sex addicts, alcohol unknown, anger management, etc.) is a good start.
Once you have a good understanding of what went wrong and how to fix it, you should be able to approach it as described in the next step of this article. From then on, slowly build a relationship with him and show him how you have changed.
Whenever these issues come up, be prepared to talk about them. Show leadership and maturity by dealing with these issues directly and talking about how you can fix them if you get back together in the future.
Reason 3: She broke up due to circumstances
Sometimes your ex breaks up with you because of some mistake of yours. But due to circumstances. Here are some examples of this.
distant relationships
Long-distance relationships are difficult. If you and your ex-girlfriend broke up due to long-distance, you are in an uphill battle.
Long-distance often causes a couple to lose attraction, lose connection or betray trust. If you and your ex-girlfriend broke up because of a long-distance, it’s probably because she’s either stopped being attracted to you or because she doesn’t see a future with you. love problem solution in Odisha | Best astrologer in India
If so, then refer to the points above to find out the reasons for the breakup.
because of the influence of others
Sometimes your girlfriend breaks up with you because of the influence of other people. This can be family members or friends. Maybe they’ve convinced him that you’re a bad boyfriend or maybe he’s totally against being in a relationship with you.
If this is you, then you should understand that your ex only listened to other people because he thought you didn’t really understand him. In most cases, it’s because you ignored him for too long and he decided to trust others.
The best course here is to still follow the plan. This time, focus on communicating properly with him and genuinely listening to him whenever he opens up to you. I recommend that you pay special attention to the purpose of learning the relationship skills below.
Everything I have written in this section will give you a good idea of what is the reason for the breakup. This part is very important because not only will understanding breakup help you get back your ex, but it will also go a long way in overcoming a breakup and learning from it.
A study conducted by Joseph P. Allen and Jessica Kansky, professors of psychology at the University of Virginia, showed that people who understand the reason for a breakup recover much quicker and more effectively than those who don’t. do not. Furthermore, learning from a breakup is also related to better relationships in the future.
If you don’t learn from the breakup, your future relationship will probably end the same way it did. Your heart is broken and your head is spinning in confusion.
So take some time to think about the reasons why your relationship ended. You have a lot of time to think things through. So there is no need to over-analyze everything. If you’re still confused after 2-3 weeks of a breakup, consider seeking therapy or contact one of our coaches to get some outside perspective. love problem solution in Odisha | Best astrologer in India
Objective: Find out if he is eligible to return
If you are reading this article soon after a breakup, then your reaction might be,
But you’re looking at him through the rose-tinted glasses of post-breakup denial. That’s why I’ve included this task in Phase 2 of this mission.
Once you accept the breakup and go through the grief after the breakup, you need to figure out if it’s worth it. Here is an article that will help you do that. And read below for some actionable tips about it. love problem solution in Odisha | Best astrologer in India
Actionable Tips (Very Important)
- Write down 5 things you don’t like about your ex.
- Write down 3 things about your ex that need to change so that you can have a healthy and happy relationship with him. (For example, he needs to get better at communicating or he needs to stop flirting with other people)
Note: If you can’t think of any of these things, you need to finish Step 1 of this article and come back here after about 2 weeks.
Purpose: Be a better version of yourself
What happened in your previous relationship with your ex-girlfriend has passed. When you get back together, it’s going to be a better relationship. Because you are going to be a better version of yourself.
a) become more confident
Being confident is the number one quality that makes your ex-girlfriend, ex-wife or ex-fiancé want you back. However, confidence is not something that can be built in a day.
In fact, the insecurity that pushed your ex away and broke up with you is the result of years of negative feedback received from the world and yourself.
You can’t undo all that in one day. And if you fake it, she will eventually see through it and start thinking of you as a manipulative.
Thankfully, you have enough time to work on your confidence during periods of no contact.
Plus, I talk a lot about how to effectively build your confidence to maximize your chances of getting your ex back in our advanced course.
b) learn relationship skills and tools to maintain a healthy relationship
This is very important if your ex broke up with you because she felt neglected. Or if the two of you kept on arguing and never came to a proper conclusion.
One of the most important relationship skills you can learn is proper communication. If you can be adept at handling conflict with your girlfriend, then every fight you have will bring you closer together.
If you learn to empathize with and understand her on a deeper level, the connection she will feel with you will be unparalleled.
So, work on these two skills because they make him want you back and are very important in being with you forever. The best way to start is by reading the Better Communication course that comes with our Advanced Program. Check it out here.
Ty Tashiro, Ph.D., and best-selling author of “The Science of Happily Ever After” and Patricia A., a distinguished professor in the University of Minnesota’s Department of Psychology. Frazier, Ph.D., showed that both the dumper and the dumpy report personal growth after a breakup, but women generally report greater growth than men. According to the authors of the study, the reason for this may be the following.
This means that even if your ex was the one who broke up with you, there’s a good chance she’s already started a journey of personal growth. And you should too.
Hopefully, when you two start talking again without a contract period, you will both have grown up, learned from your mistakes, and become better people. If the two of you get back together, the new relationship will turn into something wonderful because you both have become better people and have learned from your mistakes. love problem solution in Chennai | talk to astrologer
c) become more physically attractive (optional)
This objective is optional for one very simple reason. Your ex-girlfriend was once physically attracted to you. So, she will be attracted to you again.
However, there are some benefits to working on your physical appearance.
- You will feel more confident.
- Getting a fresh look will give the impression that you are a new person.
- Working out will release endorphins that will make you feel happier.
ACTIONABLE STEPS TO TAKE (MILDLY IMPORTANT)
- Go to the gym at least 20 days during the no contact period
- Increase the maximum weight you can squat with by 15 kg
- Get a new haircut
- Get Your teeth cleaned
- Get new clothes
d) become more socially attractive (optional)
This is again an optional objective as it is not necessary to win your ex-girlfriend back permanently. But it definitely helps.
Being socially active helps you regain your confidence and realize that your ex is not the only person in the world for you. If you spend time with your friends and other girls, you will feel better about yourself and realize that other girls are interested in you too. love problem solution in Chennai | talk to astrologer
Actionable Steps to Becoming More Socially Attractive (Slightly Important)
Contact 5 girls you are attracted to. Talk to them and let them know that you find them attractive with confidence.
Go out with your friends at least on two weekends.
Go out on a road trip or vacation with your friends.
e) Become more aware and increase your awareness level (optional)
Your level of awareness is the most underrated skill. Most people spend no time working on it and developing it (video game lingo: spend XP points on it). But it can have a huge impact on your happiness, your confidence, your well-being, and your relationships.
Studies have shown that meditation can go a long way in reducing anxiety and increasing the level of awareness.
Needless to say, it helps you become a better version of yourself and will increase your chances of getting your ex-girlfriend back.
Actionable Suggestions (Important)
Meditate for at least 10 minutes for 21 consecutive days.
f) Work on your life goals or passion (optional)
Life goals and passions are not only attractive to girls, but it is also a huge confidence booster and therapeutic. If you are working on something that you care about, your mind will focus only on that and you will forget about everything else.
Plus, working on things you care about will give you something to talk about with your ex when you don’t end any contact.
People who are passionate about things other than their girlfriends are immediately seen as more confident and less insecure.
Actionable Suggestions (Important)
- Find a hobby, career goal or life goal that you are interested in or passionate about. It should be something you can get better at and eventually specialize in. Something that you can be the best in your city if you work hard enough or work long hours.
- Spend at least 10 hours a week working on it.
Actionable Tips for Step 2: Fighting the Inner Demons
Start working on your confidence and communication skills. (See EBP Advanced Systems for a step-by-step process.
Join the EBP Basics Email Course (Free) by taking this quiz.
Understand the root cause of the breakup and write down what you can do to fix it and be a better person by doing so.
Loss Alert: Are You Constantly Watching What Your Ex Is Doing?
Loss Alert: Do you feel like you don’t need to make any changes or self-improvement?
before proceeding
If you have read it for now, I suggest you take this quiz to find out your chances of getting your ex-girlfriend back. It will also give you a subscription to the EBP Basics Email Course which will send you a helpful email every day for the next 30 days.
I’ve created the EBP Basics Email Course to help you get over a breakup and defeat your inner demons. You will receive an email from me every day for the next 30 days giving you some helpful tips to overcome this and make the other end stronger than ever. love problem solution in Chennai | talk to astrologer
CLICK HERE TO TAKE THE QUIZ AND SUBSCRIBE to the EBP Basics Course
If you want to continue reading, keep scrolling down or click here to return to the Table of Contents.
Step 3: Contact your ex in a way that makes him want to talk to you again
OBJECTIVES:
- Get Your Ex to Speak to You Normally
- Get Her to Smile or Laugh At Least Once
The objectives of this step are pretty straightforward. Ask him to talk to you again as you normally would. Make him smile or laugh at what you said at least once.
This stage is called the Dragon of Resistance because there is a large dragon that is preventing it from opening in front of you and giving you a chance to rebuild the enchantment.
Undoubtedly this is the toughest battle of this mission. Most of the boys fail at this stage.
The resistance he has is based on the following beliefs.
- My ex will try to molest me and will do anything to get me back.
- He will try to act casual even if he is sad inside.
- He will try to get her to meet me so that he can beg or beg.
- He hasn’t really changed and neither have I, and if I got back with him, things would go back to the way they were.
- These are all very valid reasons not to talk to you. In fact, if any of this is true, I wouldn’t recommend your ex-girlfriend respond to you if you’ve contacted her.
But hopefully, we’ve taken care of that in the first two steps of getting him back. By now, you are a better version of yourself. You are more confident and you are sure that things will be different when you are back with your ex.
In this step, your goal is to only address the first three perceptions of your ex-girlfriend. You can show him how things would be different later when you’re talking to each other on a regular basis.
It is very important that you do it correctly. If you mess up here, your ex will defend herself immediately and you won’t have to make contact again for a month or two before trying again.
Here’s how to do it.
ask him to talk to you normally
There can be two scenarios in this case. Either you or your ex left on good terms. Or you acted in a way that caused a sour taste in his mouth about you.
In any case, it’s definitely a good idea to clean the slate so you can make him feel comfortable talking to you again.
I talk about this in my article about texting my ex-girlfriend again here. I call it the elephant-in-the-room approach. You accept by telling the elephant everything that happened in the room and apologizing for it.
Basically, when you first contact him you address four main points.
You apologize for anything you did that came across as needy, desperate or manipulative.
You accept the fact that you weren’t your best self after the breakup.
You accept the fact that you have accepted the breakup.
You give a small glimpse of everything new happening in your life.
There are three means you can use to do this.
- a handwritten letter
- original message
Once you’ve approached him using this method, it’s time to leave him alone for a while. for at least five days.
When you don’t contact him after sending him this message, it will prove that you are serious about accepting the breakup and not saying so to get back at it.
Note: You can download my free report “5 Elephant in the Room Texts” by clicking here.
What if she answers?
There is a good chance that your ex will respond to you. If she does, you are free to talk to her. But don’t overdo it now. He may still have his defense and if you act desperate or needy in any way, it will confirm his suspicions.
If she responds, you should talk to her, but don’t try to recreate the attraction or make her laugh. End the conversation on a light note and make him feel good about it.
ACTIONABLE STEPS (VERY IMPORTANT)
- Draft an elephant in the room message for your ex using the above guidelines.
- Get me to take a look at your draft and give suggestions. Use one of our email coaching packages to get in touch with us.
- Mark your calendar for 5 days after you’ve sent the elephant in the room text.
She still hates me. How can I get him to start talking to me again?
So you have made no contact, worked out your issues, accepted the breakup, and contacted your ex using the above-mentioned approach.
But even after all this, your ex is still angry with you and it seems that he hates you. Whenever you try to talk to him, it seems that he is mad at you for what you did in the past.
Why can’t she just leave the past and focus on the present?
Well, if your ex is still angry with you, mad at you, or hates you; Its is most likely because he is still hurt.
And he’s still hurt because you did one of two things.
- You contacted him too soon in an effort to get back to him quickly. You didn’t give him enough time to recover.
- You contacted him the wrong way. She still thinks you’re insensitive and you don’t understand her. You didn’t apologize for the things he expected you to apologize for.
- If your ex is angry because you didn’t give him enough time after the breakup, you should give him time before you talk to him and use the strategy in the next step to make him want you back.
But if your ex is angry with you because he expects a proper apology from you for something you did, then you need to go back to the drawing board and try to get his point across.
Try to find out what is the reason for his anger. There’s a good chance he’s still hurt by things you did during the relationship. And you need to understand his point of view and apologize for it. You can do this again using the template in the elephant room. Just make sure you truly understand his point of view and that you are sincere in your apology. love problem solution in Chennai | talk to astrologer
Click here to download a template that you can send him so he can start talking to you again. love problem solution in Chennai | talk to astrologer
Ask him to smile or laugh at something you say.
The best way to start is to try to make him laugh or smile at something you said. If your ex-girlfriend laughs or smiles at something you said, you can be sure that she has become comfortable around you and will give you a chance to charm and bond.
Here are some ways to do this.
use previous memory
Think of something that you both enjoy. And use it to your advantage. This could be a TV show, a YouTube channel, a video game, or a coffee shop.
Think about it as something funny or think of some happy memory. And then just text him about it. Here’s an example, love problem solution in Chennai | talk to astrologer
think of a joke
Have fun and want your ex girlfriend back?
The person reading this article.
OK, that wasn’t my best joke. But I’m sure you can do better than this. More importantly, you probably know what tickles his weird bone. So, think of a joke that you think would be funny to her and send it to her. love problem solution in Chandigarh
It is important that you do this when he has answered you at least once.
Disclaimer: There are no guarantees that every person using this service will get their desired results for sure. Astrological results depend on a lot of factors and the results may vary from person to person.
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